So how has life been now that we are officially a family of 5...
It's been a roller coaster!!I We have good moments and challenging moments but over all, the transition has gone fairly well. She fits right into our family. She was our missing piece.
The first two weeks at home were great because Bobby was here tending mostly to the boys needs. I got plenty of sleep and Kate got plenty of nursing and Mommy time. Oh and our friends... Our lovely friends... Gosh.. The meals they brought us were so incredible. My life felt complete and normal.
Once Bobby went back to work, I think I have managed. Initially it wasn't so bad, but the past two weeks I have been struggling.
I try to get out of the house as much as possible. Usually that isn't the norm with a newborn, but it's a tip I learned from my very dear friend Nikki. She is a Mom of many littles and its impressive to see she gets out of the house every single day by 8:45 am and doesn't come back until lunch and nap time.
Following suit, my children do better when we aren't at home. They argue less, they're engaged in whatever activity we are doing and it's a mental break of the monotony.
Every morning I have made it a point to walk at least an hour. Jogging feels good. I lifted at the gym yesterday. It felt good. I try to do normal things like play outside, have play dates, go to the park... But everything is a dysfunctional challenge getting anywhere. Like the logistics of getting to point a to b is hard with three kids. I'm trying my hardest though.
Now.. What is different... A LOT!
I have never been so B U S Y in my life. From the moment I wake to the moment I sleep, and the hours in between, I am actively parenting. There is no such thing as sleep when the baby sleeps but of course, not all of my children nap anymore. On rare occasion, I can get them to simultaneously nap. If that by chance happens, I shower.
With that being said, I'm legitamently exhausted. I'm so tired it hurts to think. Mom brain is real. My brain is constantly churning of an on going to do list...
At the end of the day, I don't want to speak to anyone - not even my partner. I want to be alone. I crave being alone, doing nothing, in silence.
Another challenge is transitions to and from places alone... There's just so many of them... It's a lot of, "Greyson close the door. Weston come on, press the button. Stand there while I get the baby. Yes I'll get you a snack, hold on....okay! Let's go let's go let's go!!!"
There's a lot of directives like that. I don't have the time or energy to be all developmentally appropriate with my kids. I need them to get their shit together and do what I need them to do because other wise I'll probably lose one of them. Just kidding. Sorta.
The parents at Greyson's school have been very gracious helping me in and out of the school and parking lot. There's neverrrrrr any parking close to the front door, so there I am... Trucking along a toddler and a newborn and Greyson. We are always rushing because I can seem to get out of the house yet by 7:50.... I get out of the house by 8:05 usually. But you know what? I don't care. At least I'm out of the house and checking things off of my to do list.
Another thing different is my ability to let things slide. The dishes can wait. Katelyn is my last newborn and I want to hold her. Laundry can wait because Weston wants (needs) me to read a book to him.
I am more flexible in my chores by choice. I like that. I hope my kids grow up and remember their childhood as living in a fairly tidy and clean house with a fun and active and involved mom.
So overall, this hasn't been an easy six weeks but it has been a beautiful, exhausting, and wonderful six weeks. We are together. We are healthy. We are learning. We are surviving. We are doing a lot of growing as people and as parents.
I am so blessed to have such supportive and honest friendships in my life also. I have sweet dear friends near and far all checking in on us, lending an ear, telling me it's okay to not get my to do list accomplished, offering to watch my boys, holding Katelyn, asking me what kind of wine I need, and just letting me vent my frustrations. My Dutchman friends, my kickball friends, my neighborhood friends, my college friends... All of you, thank you. I wish you all knew how special you are to me and how grateful I am of your friendships. You are the people that I can relate to, and the only people that truly "get" the struggle.
So dear family and friends... If I don't respond to a text, if I don't answer the phone, or if I don't respond on Facebook... It's for a reason... I am either indulging in my rare alone time or I'm bonding with my babies and my new family of 5.
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