Today was a good day in my house. I was tired from helping a friend until 3:30 am, and of course Wes woke up st 5:30 am because he's really miserable with a little virus, but over all, it's was a good day! We woke up, ate breakfast together, lounged and watched cartoons, played monster trucks, read books. Daddy was home and playing too. If was a good day! The boys napped and we went to the park after that.
It was beautiful outside and my little ones were running and giggling, despite not feeling great. Weston chased after me, raced with his brother and Dad, and the smiles on their faces melted my heart. I didn't bring my phone with me to check social media or the most recent text. I was just present in that moment with my husband and sons. I wasn't sitting on the sideline on the bench (not that I judge the moms that do that, because girl, I GET IT! The struggle is real) but I was playing with them. We were together. It was perfect.
I felt very lucky.. And I couldn't help but think about the recent attacks on Paris... And then grief struck me. Again. Just like it has this whole weekend.
I am not a political person. I am the first to admit politics intimidate me. I have very strong conservative and liberal views, so often times I don't feel like I have a place I belong in the political discussion world. Many of my thoughts seem to be ignorant in my opinion, and selfish. I tend to not share those embarrassing opinions with others. I tend not to discuss politics often because I am not educated enough to fully discuss them appropriately.
So that isn't what this post is about. This post isn't about politics. It's about humanity.
I grieve for those who lost their lives during the attacks the other night. I grieve for those who have been targets of terrorism and extremists in general. It's sickening and saddening to know that my sweet babies that were playing SO innocently at the park today are obligated to grow up in this world with monsters. And as their Mom, I have to protect them... Somehow...?
I have no control. That scares me. Terrifies me.
I could be at a park with my child, and an extremist that believes whole heartedly that me and my children should die because we don't believe the same thing as him, or because a book tells him to, is terrifying to me. And there is absolutely nothing I can do to prevent that. I cannot change the mindset of another. So how do we cope with this as a parent?
This isn't just about terrorism. This could be about rapists and kidnappers or child molesters. The bottom line is: HOW do we protect our children? How can we prepare ourselves? Are we always armed for battle? Are we always on alert? What do we do when we are taken by surprise and have to spring into action?
I have no answers for these hypothetical questions.... But I think of them often.
You know, I changed my profile picture to the color of The French flag. Red white and blue. Someone said that meant I was condoning war and supporting it and all the fury it brings.
Well let me respond to that...
1. I am supporting and grieving for the people that lost loved ones. Acknowledging their loss is hardly supporting war.
2. I support whatever a country feels like it needs to do to protect its citizens. If that means war, or closing boarders, I support that.
3. At the end of the day, we are all humans sharing this earth together. Many of us are parents trying to make this place a beautiful world for our children to live in. I want my children to know that I am sympathetic and I want to model and I want them to witness that I am empathetic to those in need. So changing my fucking Facebook picture to a matte color of red white and blue doesn't mean I support war. It means I acknowledge how inhumane others can be.... I acknowledge how cruel people can be. It am hurting for that country. I hurt for our country because we are FOOLISH to think we can't be next.
So maybe you should get off your soap box and rather than talk shit and start a debate, you should try to come together with your community, this world, to make it a better place. One day when you become a parent, you will see this world in the eyes of a child and soon you will see the foundation of humanity and how we all need to stick together in a time of crisis, regardless of culture.
Anyway...
I know this post is all over the place. I know that my political opinion in this situation hardly comes into play in this post... But I just needed to write. I needed to write about how blessed I felt today to have my boys with me. How lucky I am to feel baby Katelyn kick me today. How happy I am to be a part of the community I live in. How extremely blessed I am for my family and friends.... But not a moment has gone by that I haven't grieved for the lost lives of others from these terrorist attacks this weekend.
I don't know how to prepare or how to stop it... So all I can do is my best. I will love my children. I will embrace my moments with them - the good, bad, and ugly. I will continue to model empathy for others so my boys grow up and hopefully act the same. I want them knowing and believing in the good in other people.
So today, I am lucky. I am lucky. 
No comments:
Post a Comment